How To Be Bougie on a Budget
- J. Breezy
- Dec 12, 2017
- 3 min read
These 3 items will help you achieve the cashmere life on a cotton budget
It’s not the Christmas lights or the Starbucks red cups that we wait in glee for this time of year– it’s the goop Gift guide, one of the most pretentious collections of gift suggestions known to womankind.
For those of you who don’t know what goop is, it’s Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand for people with money– like Martha Stewart but less savage.
Every holiday season, they release a list of presents you can buy people that range from thousands of dollars to $20. I’m not saying these things aren’t worth the kind of money Gwynie is suggesting you shell out for your friends and family, but for most humble ballers on a budget, it makes us really aware of how poor we are in relation to the beautiful things we’re supposed to want. #bankaccountgoals
This list is notoriously ridiculous. Its annual appearance on the interwebs makes me wonder if Gwynfreth wakes up each morning, looks in the mirror and asks herself, “How can I make the world feel less advantaged today?”
We're putting the power back in the hands of the people this year by skipping this altogether and giving you comparable items you can actually afford from this #blessed list of treasures.
Surprisingly, it’s not all from the Stocking Stuffer (under $100) Guide. And when your friends and family asked where you heard of such fabulous items for purchase, you can explain to them that you bought it off a website not named after the gelatinous blobs of glitter and snot that kids make in preschool to take home in a Ziploc bag. You’re welcome.
From the Gift Guide: Betony Vernon MARABOU PLEASURE PUFF RING $673.00
Is this a freaking joke? $673.00 for a ring with some hair on it?!? If you got it like that and want to spend it like that, then more power to you.. but we have a feeling you wouldn't have found this post in the first place if that was the case.
Compare To: "The Mink"
This fashion forward accessory is not only better on the eyes it is better for your wallet. Get one for yourself now for only $7
Seriously guys, plebeians like us can only dream about items on this list, and if you’re dreaming about this incredibly simple heart necklace for a whopping $350 bucks, well then be our guest. Just make sure you exhaust all of your credit before you file for bankruptcy for something that stupid. Also, you can buy a yurt for $8300. A yurt. Just say it, it’s hilarious.
Compare to: "Its a Druzy" - Just think. You can get a heart AND a crystal for a measly $19.99 Get yours HERE
You could throw $470 bucks out the window (we'd almost just as soon burn it) on this probably posh but totally over priced blanket or you could just nix that idea completely and opt for this totally under priced but equally as posh mermaid throw featured below.
Not only is it less than $60 dollars we are willing to bet it
is going to conjure up a lot more conversation than the
earlier mentioned. Plus anything that makes us feel
the #mermaidvibes is totally a win in our book.
Snag one for yourself HERE
So there you have it– a selection of comparable items that you can make yours from a generally unaffordable list. But hey, if you can afford to consciously uncouple from your bank account and tackle the stuff for your Christmas list, more power to ya.
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